endless blue

We jumped in together, hands held tight, appetite for illusion - this thing called freedom - dripping with

excitement despite

the promise of pain.

Wasn't until we 

were in  

that we felt the depth of it all.




this is really happening.

Cold waters pressed against our skin like knives,

sudden panic 

of black and tangled depths,

unforgiving and endless

kicking and gliding 

just to stay afloat - 

but together, 

always together. 

Then came the great terror of them all;

the will to do what we came here for :

letting go 

and

start swimming 

our separate ways

and 

let ourselves be drifted

into the 

ether. 

For freedom.



And as we paddle along,  being swept and daring not to look back,


over time the sounds of splashing

recede,


and calls of reassurance

dimmer,


until

it is just you

on your merry lonesome.



Doing what you've thirsted for so long.


Only now the sound of your solitude magnifies

your heart beat to a thousand drums. 

Uncertainty fills the lungs,

and doubt asks of perseverance : 

How far? 

Where to? 

Why swim at all? 

Turn back now? 

Is it more or less to hold on?  

 Keep swimming.

We will see, 

we will see.